Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
