is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
