Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Boobs speak an international language.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Randomize
