my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
