Plan B is the new Plan A
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
