direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
