is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You pole danced in your parka.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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