i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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