I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
