Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
When did angry sex become our thing?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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