He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
