Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
