Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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