I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
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