Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
My life is pants optional.
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