Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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