Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I didn't shave. On purpose
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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