I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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