no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Randomize
