I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
