We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
