I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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