I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
