I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
