I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
