Non-Jews are for practice
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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