I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
