is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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