they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
