at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
