i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
