So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
