im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
So much Jack, so little girl.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
