well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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