Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
