those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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