I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
