It's just like the Real World with babies
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
