my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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