Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
