Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
