We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
