A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
