She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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