seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
