So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
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