I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
