filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
