Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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