Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
